


Cock and Prune

by Basingstoke



Series: Unfinished WIP clearinghouse [4]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Jeeves & Wooster, Torchwood
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:22:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basingstoke/pseuds/Basingstoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor brings Jeeves and Wooster to Captain Jack after an adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cock and Prune

This time, the Doctor phones before he turned up. “Hullo! How are things, old prune?” 

“Who are you calling a prune?” Jack said. 

The Doctor laughed. “I’m bringing some friends by. They’ve had enough travelling and need a job and all that.” 

Jack was frankly amazed. “And you come to me?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

“You have changed.” 

“Well, yes. Here we are! See you in a minute,” the Doctor said. So Jack fetched Gwen and Ianto and went up to the Plass to meet him. 

The TARDIS arrived with its usual gasp and whoosh. The door popped open and the Doctor stuck his new, fresh face out the door. “What ho!” he cried. 

“Top of the morning,” Jack replied. 

“Jack! Ianto! Gwen! These are my new friends,” the Doctor said, ushering through two men. “Bertie, who’s so good with baby animals, and Jeeves. Oh, and this is Amy and Rory. But they’re not staying. Rather, they are staying. They’re not leaving. They already left.” 

A red-headed girl put her hand over the Doctor’s mouth. “We’re staying on the TARDIS,” she said. 

Bertie was a soft-looking young man in a beautiful, immaculate grey wool suit--1926, if Jack was any judge--with the lines rather spoiled by an infant Hyrrlecti clinging to his waistcoat. Jeeves was a tall, large-headed man in a somber black morning coat, striped trousers, and bowler hat. Clearly a house servant, clearly employed by young Bertie. Interesting. “What ho!” Bertie cried. 

Jeeves abruptly staggered. Amy and Rory caught him. “Again?” Amy asked. 

“I do apologize,” Jeeves said, covering his face. 

“Is it the young lady’s trousers? He’s very sensitive,” Bertie said to Jack and his crew. Gwen looked down at her jeans. 

“No, sir. The young man’s shirt. It is... salmon. I shall be better directly.” 

Jack raised an eyebrow at Ianto’s shirt. Salmon, yes, with a grey pinstripe suit. “This is the height of style,” Ianto said frostily. 

“Yes, sir, of course,” Jeeves said. 

“Smashing! I must have the name of your tailor,” Bertie said. “So this is the future! I like it!” 

“They’re from 1926,” the Doctor said. “But Jeeves is brainy and Bertie is adaptable, so they’ll be just fine.” 

“You should have seen what happened when Rory wore a Hawaiian shirt,” Amy said. Jeeves cried out and Bertie clapped his shoulder reassuringly. “He doesn’t seem to mind what I wear, though. Or the Doctor.”

“The Doctor is an image of active elegance. A man who can maintain a properly tied tie in the midst of alien attack is not to be underestimated,” Jeeves said. 

“Bow ties are cool,” the Doctor said. 

“Yes. Bow ties are very cool,” Amy said. 

“Bow ties are super cool,” Rory said. He looked at Amy and they both intoned “braaaaaains,” holding their arms outstretched. They lurched towards the Doctor. 

“Good job, coming out sane,” Gwen said, looking up at Jack. 

“Excuse me, what year is this?” Jeeves asked. 

“2012!” the Doctor said. 

“2009,” Jack said. 

“Really?” 

“Positive,” Jack said. 

“2009 then! There’s been a second world war, the mobile telephone has been invented, and man has landed on the moon. And jelly babies have been invented! I used to love jelly babies. I lost my taste for them. I should try them again. Do you have any?” 

“Yes, actually, in my desk,” Ianto said. Jack and Gwen both looked at him. “What?” he said. He went back into his office to get them. 

“Ever so many things have changed,” the Doctor said. “For instance, homosexuality is legal.” 

Jeeves stiffened. 

“In fact, homosexual marriage is now legal,” Jack said. He thought he saw the Doctor’s game. 

“Eh? What, chap and chap hitching up for the long haul? Extraordinary!” Bertie said. “What an innovation!” 

Jeeves dropped to one knee and took Bertie’s hand. “Mr. Wooster,” he said, quietly but fervently. 

“Oh, I say!” 

“You are my heart, my light, and the center of my universe.” Jeeves kissed Bertie’s hand and Bertie reddened. “You are precious beyond words. I have adored you since I knew you. In short, I love you, desperately and, I thought, in vain,” Jeeves declared. 

“Oh, I say, Jeeves.” 

“Can you love me in return? Mr. Wooster--may I be your wife?” 

“Well! Well! Jeeves, I--well, dash it all, Jeeves, I don’t know what I would do without you, apart from being bally miserable, what?” 

Jeeves clutched Bertie’s hand. “But can you love me?” 

“Dash it, Jeeves! I can, and I do, and I have, and I will,” Bertie said, and he might have gone on, except that Jeeves stood and stopped his mouth with a kiss. Gwen grabbed Jack’s arm, bouncing up and down on her toes. 

The Doctor grinned and looked at Jack. On his new face, his smile looked like a gateway to a happier, shinier dimension, or a heaven gained through good works and honest toil. He looked as though this was the culmination of his life’s work. 

“Well done,” Jack mouthed. The Doctor beamed brighter. 

Then Ianto returned with the jelly babies. “What did I miss?” he asked, looking at the snogging couple. 

*


End file.
